“A Dream is a wish your heart makes”
Photos: Oliva Leigh Photographie
Event design and floral: Christine Janda Design and Events
colorful
thoughtful
fun
bold
textured
nuanced
intricate
layered
daring
comprehensive
These are all words that have been used to describe Christine Janda Design and Events, well- design and events.
But because I have worked with her professionally and I also love her like a sister personally, I know firsthand they also succinctly describe the way she loves her people.
colorful
thoughtful
fun
bold
textured
nuanced
intricate
layered
daring
comprehensive
The ones she gets to love in person... and in spirit.
Her design is a work of art. Her warmth is a work of heart.
And her greatest masterpiece is absolutely the way she loves. (the way she gut giggle laughs, a close second).
Last month, we wanted to offer uplifting ideas and ways to incorporate a loved one in a milestone moment/wedding. I was immediately reminded how beautifully Christine honored her incredible brother Tommy at her wedding, infusing the little things about him in the little details everywhere. Even after his passing, his aliveness was all around us. Most notably in the way that it all started- Brent clearly sent into Christine’s life from someone watching over her- Tommy knew there happened to be one and only one other entrepreneurial dance floor enthusiast in the world and sat them right next to each other late one night at a Chicago bar. From Brent’s first words to Christine: “Shabbat shalom!” to their “You may kiss the bride” -They are destined to be partnered in this life; Christine and Brent are each other's home and adventure.
Christine has such a gift. Well, it’s just HER. She is the gift. She lives with her heart on the outside. The bravest people don’t “grin and bear it” -they allow themselves to feel anything, moments anesthetized by nothing so that they can experience everything. She knows firsthand the enormity of fun, happiness and vibrant love that comes along with being willing to lead with heart. What allows her to experience those peaks also means she sometimes has to walk the valleys. “The risk of love is loss and the price of loss is grief” (Hilary Stanton Zunin). She always chooses infinite love. She will always climb back up to the peak.
She loves Tommy exactly that way. When he was with us and now through the experience of not being with him physically- she allows herself the full range of loving him deeply and missing him endlessly. Her tears mixed with laughter lead into hugs and a funny story with a gentle hand squeeze- memories and pain and love and support intertwine with the signs and reminders of him all around. I am mesmerized with how she goes through grief while smiling through tears, she lets it all be true. And she always keeps him with us. I even feel like I know Tommy better now than I ever did because she spreads his light that shines so bright. It doesn’t take her pain away, but at least there is something beautiful to do with all this love. Thank you, Christine, for sharing Tommy-ness with all of us.
Our Together at Peace purpose is to inspire people to find ways to live with, honor and share their unique love that still lives on. It is made of honor that Christine’s Maid of Honor- can share with the world all the ways Christine keeps Tommy with her and how she used her special gift of heart to make sure he was with us everywhere on her wedding day.
Christine’s advice to brides and grooms
CHRISTINE: Having produced hundreds of weddings and navigating the mix of celebration with loss-
Christine has advice for the experience:
Grief is SO hard when you're meant to celebrate. It can find ways to take away your current
happiness when (ironically) that is the last thing the person we are missing would want.
My biggest piece of advice I give my Brides and Grooms (including myself) when honoring a
loved one on a wedding day:. Ask yourself throughout your engagement what makes you feel good, loving and happy? Then do authentically just that. A candle or open seat would have broken me down on my wedding day but to others it's a physical reminder that they are right there next to us. Would a subtle "between you two" moment feel like a quick hug and reminder from your loved one or do you want something more prevalent for all of your guests to see? Maybe both? For me, it was a photo of Tommy and I in my getting ready suite because I knew this part of the day I would largely feel his absence. For a former bride it was a hummingbird embroidered onto the base of her bouquet so Mom and her favorite bird could walk her down the aisle. Just for them two to see.
Which leads me to my next tip: give yourself the unexpected time and space to feel. Do you need extra time to put on your dress because you know they were supposed to be there to button you up? (psst - that was me!) Better yet, let your feelings feel and lean on your closest family and friends to help give you that space you need that day. And then take those 5 minutes to recenter, and refocus on the happy you know the both of you want for You. There are few days in life that you will be honored like a wedding day. It's your day, so feel it all and take what you need.
A special toast to Tommy
Christine kicked off the reception with a toast to her brother:
CHRISTINE: I can’t wait to continue to celebrate my marriage to Brent with all of you. However, before I turn it over to our parents, there is one special person in our lives we wanted to celebrate.
Tommy “TJ” Janda. Whether you knew my brother through your own personal stories or know him through hearing mine, you all definitely know that he lived a full, bold and beautiful life.
There was nothing subtle about Tommy. And as you all see how much I love candles, there was no simple memorial candle that could have ever shined bright enough to let you feel his presence today.
My brother loved making those around him happy and there is nobody he loved more or tried to make happier, than me.
Although Brent has not physically met TJ, Brent has told me that he feels like he knows him. He knows that he spent his life making others laugh and fill their days with joy. As an assistant cruise director it was literally his job to surprise and delight others.
While always acting like my older brother, Tommy knew that there was nobody who could love, respect and appreciate me like he did. Unless someone like Brent came into my life.
Now if Tommy was standing right here he would tell me to wipe my damn face and to kiss this gorgeous man right next to me.
Family table of photos
CHRISTINE: There are gorgeous photos in my wedding album that share the "family table". Something else important to me. I loved Tommy's photos mixed in with my parent's and grandparent's wedding photos. Some of them no longer walking amongst us but many of them still right there! It felt right viewing him in this light. Always with us.
Billy ball flowers
CHRISTINE: The billy ball flowers above me in my chuppah, in my Mom's corsage, in the hidden mickeys. To me, that was him (which = joy) all around. <3
Hidden Mickey Mouse
CHRISTINE: Some of my brother’s favorite times in his life were while working at Walt Disney World and hidden within these magical walls, if you know to look, are hidden mickeys. A little reminder that you’re not alone. That especially in unsuspecting places, joy can be found.
We have hidden Mickey’s throughout tonight’s reception; you might find one near a bar, in the corner of a room; we hope they make you smile. We also hope you know that they are TJ’s “subtle” way of telling you to get your ass back out on the dance floor.
Little Things Basket
CHRISTINE: There was also one hidden mickey under a charcuterie board during dinner. The winner received a thoughtfully curated gift basket, filled with a few of Tommy’s favorite things. <3
the basket resonated with me because of my brother's love for the element of surprise. He was too big, bold and bright for simply a candle. Which is LOVELY - it just wasn't him. He had so many layers and stories I wanted to share so I went this route. It was really special curating these items throughout the year of our engagement.
I included:
A makeup bag that I custom made. It said "Ship Happens". A nod to his cruise director days and his love to travel
Mickey Mouse Ears- he was obsessed
His favorite candy, sour patch kids
A Britney Spears T-Shirt - she was his goddess!
A letter from Brent
BRITTANY: I will never forget Chrsitine's face when she started reading Brent’s letter to her on her wedding day. It is a moment that will forever take my breath away, watching Christine realize that Brent had written the letter to Christine, to TJ.
Pausing to cry
BRITTANY: Christine took time throughout the day surrounded by those who supported her- wiped her tears, squeezed her hand and nodded yes when she said “he should be here"
Christine’s dream- that Tommy would be with us everywhere we looked and everything we felt on her wedding day.
"have faith in your dreams and someday,
your rainbow will come shining through
no matter how your heart is grieving
if you keep on believing
the dream that you wish, will come true."
-Cinderella, one of Tommy’s Disney Favorites
So happy you were there with us on 11/12/22 Tommy.
-Brittany Jelinek
